Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Ghost in the Pennies


While taking some photos of a penny jar, I stumbled across this image. Apparently I was not working alone today. I thought about reflections and if my face was in light in order to cast a reflection and I was certainly not anywhere near the lights to cast off my likeness, nor is it even a likeness of myself. A true ghost? Perhaps my spirit guide saying hello? With all the troubling times around here, I imagine the angels and spirits are keeping a close tab around here. Having spent ten years of my childhood in a scientifically actively haunted house, I became "aware" of what was around me and today, working in my house, I can honestly say it is not haunted to my knowledge. But, I have had these pennies now since I was about 6 years old, collecting them through all of the years including the ten years in the haunted house, perhaps a bit of the past is still holding on in my penny jar! What do YOU think?



Monday, April 24, 2006

Last Times - The Downside of Moving

I hosted my parents for the last time in this home this weekend. I've been an emotional basket-case this whole weekend. I've gone through a gambit of feelings, happy, sad, depressed, confused, irritated, regretful, fearful, guilty. I am witness now to all that I am making them go through. The pain of change, the distance separating us all, growing further as I write. The time had to come eventually for them to go back to the rest of the family up north, for them to return from whence they came. I am selfishly aware that I have them to myself down here, no other family they spend time with to take them away. It's been a fair compromise, me being in Florida, and easy convenience, an easy way for them to have winters in Florida and still spend time with family. While it was wonderful to spend so much time with them this year, I hadn't prepared myself enough to say goodbye. But really, how do you fully say goodbye? We all have our health, but for how long? I jokingly say to them, "Oh yeah, you've got another 30 years yet!" I'd like to think they do, but honestly, I'm not so sure, and now I'm moving to the middle of nowhere, in a vast sea some 13,000 miles away.

The final hugs passed, my mom mentions to me that she hopes all goes well and smooth, that we sell our house and live our dreams, then admits that secretly she is simply pretending that I will be here again next year, in this house, hosting the whim of family card parties, grilling out in the backyard, having bon-fire parties and running to the farmer's markets with them when they come down to spend the winter. Emotional support mechanism I guess. I waved goodbye, tears already streaking down my face, I don't think I have ever cried in front of my parents as an adult. I see their moist eyes and them smiling through the tears and I hold back from completely breaking down. They back out of the driveway and slowly move down the street, knowing fully that I won't ever see them again this way. Next time, regardless of where the meeting is, will be fully and completely different, but wondering if there will be a next time. But whether I am here or there also makes no difference, because NOTHING will ever be the same as it is RIGHT NOW. Nothing will ever return to the way it was. No matter if we are here, Finland or New Zealand. One inch ahead is total darkness.

Please excuse the emotional nature of today's message. You are here and have read all of this because you are a friend or family member who cares and I appreciate you all witnessing me though this process. This is the real reason for this blog.

We had our last times now, the last meals prepared, the last card games played, the last motorcycle rides, the last laughs in this house together. Today is surreal, empty and I feel totally disconnected. The house sits as a shell. Full of memories, but vacant and empty. I go about my normal routine, cleaning, making the house ready for a buyer to preview, doing the dishes, working or attempting to work. Distracted. I do feel like someone or something has passed away.

These pictures are of our last weekend here. I didn't take too many photos. The moments I didn't capture on film, are better served as memories instead. But these are the token few shots.


Emerald green water along the intercoastal waterway.


A lone fisherman in the sun.






Riding through Myakka State Park - water levels were low.


Riding through Myakka State Park


Dad riding along behind me, I almost ran off the road to take this shot. I like the blurriness of it, seems to speak to me in an other-worldly sense.


Dad in my rearview mirror - the road ahead, the road behind, he will always be my riding partner, in person or in spirit, always right behind me.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

No More Brit Bashing OK?

OK, I may have been a bit harsh about our companions across the great pond there. I do appreciate the British, in fact, they are quickly becoming some of my favorite people, right after Kiwis and Finns! (Ok a select Turks and Canadians TOO!) The British have given me my ALL TIME favorite radio station, Virgin-UK Radio out of London. YOU GUYS ROCK and NOTHING in America even comes close. The Brits given me the wonderful vocabulary: arse, brilliant, bloody, bum, bugger, cheesed off, cock up (to screw up - nothing with the male anatomy), crikey, fiddle sticks (which I've used for decades not knowing it was owned up by the Brits), getting off (snuggling), hiya (which I always thought came from the Finns), twit (which my brothers used to call me - HEY!), on the piss (out to get drunk), off your trolley, quid, rubbish, shag, snookered - all reference thanks to a wonderful site: www.effingpot.com. Have I made up for bashing the few Brits partaking in the roll-over contest yet? I'm certain that for every ONE stupid British thing there are about a half-million stupid American tricks to top it. Like driving in circles to see how fast we can go - what is the thrill in sport racing anyway, I mean really! For that matter, I think sports is played up too much in this country as it is. But I won't get into that, another can of bloody worms!

Anyway, we have a tentative plan established once again and I'm feeling much better. Yes, still disappointed, but not like I was. Thanks for listening to me ramble and I'll try to keep a positive slant because I KNOW things could be alot worse! You have to understand, I'm an Aries, I have a goal, I set a plan of attack and I go after it full-force! It's hard to have that plan shift and elude me.

So the plan is that we keep the house on the market and see how things progress. We may or may not raise the price again depending on how the market rebounds. Really, not to be desperate, but I REALLY want for us to move at the same time, but I'm prepared to have Tanjariitta move before me and I follow when the house sells, but it's too early to say if that will be the plan or not seeing as how our plans often change quickly!

In the meantime, have some photos of berries. I can't keep up with the production of our tree, it's amazing! I picked most of these without the aid of a ladder. They practically fall off the tree. That gives me an idea.... maybe I should have a grove of Mulberry trees and start making jams, jellies, juices and wine from them! Whaddya think?

Cheers!




OK, if you're a family member or a friend that has dropped by and been following my rants and you HAVEN"T left a message, WHAT'S UP??!!??! I know you're out there... Don't worry, clicking on the comments link doesn't obligate you or associate you with any thing that could be potentailly threatenning or harmful, just don't leave your credit card number like last time and you'll be ok. =) Anyway, it would be good to hear from you, I like to think my family and close friends are paying attention once in a while.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Rants and raves!


My social rant for the day. I just clicked on a video segment from cnn.com in which the Brits celebrated a roll-over contest. Just before viewing that, I read an article about the shortened supply of oil and the escalating price of gas, so tell me, when is this world going to wake up and realize that time is running out on fossil fuels? Americans drive their HUGE SUVs, one person per vehicle on the way to work, speeding and driving like maniacs and the next minute whining about how high gas prices are. I'm sorry, try living outside the good ole' US of A. Fuel prices in Finland for example, and this is somewhat congruent throughout Europe, are typically $3 and $4 a gallon MORE than what we are paying, yet the world can have time for car flipping contests. Excuse me, I love the Europeans and their way of life, their use of mass transit, but this contest was just wasteful, environmentally disrespectful, juvenile and irresponsible. Shouldn't we be preserving and conserving? Using the last reserves the world has to offer for emergencies and mass transit? Shouldn't we be thinking about the time when the precious crude runs out? Wake up!

Anyway, that's my rant for the day!

Yesterday was better for me, besides being my birthday, I feel better. It's still frustrating to be stuck here, but I'm feeling more optimistic. I have some new work contacts, some nice opportunities thanks to the job bank at the Ringling School of Art and Design, and I just read that the feds are putting the brakes to rising interest rates finally. This means that MAYBE the housing market may be picking up. I was speaking to a friend of mine in the Midwest yesterday and he said the real estate market up there was in the same place, stuck. I'm encouraged. So come-on hungry house buyers, get out there and shop! Stop at my place first!

I had a wonderful birthday. I found work during the day, so we can continue paying the mortgage and feeding ourselves. We went out to eat last night at my favorite French bistro - check them out at LeParigot.com. SOOOO wonderful! Every dining experience there makes me wish I had been born French. Every bite is an explosion of flavor and perfection. You know when you experience something, from operating a finely-tuned piece of automobile perfection, or an expensive, finely crafted piece of furniture or exquisite design, melding form and function? That's how every meal is there! Perfection in every bite. Anyway, nice wines, a beautiful Amber prayer bracelet, the beauty of my wife beside me, the world is right here for us. Nothing else around us. OK - enough sappyness! It was a wonderful time!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

April 18, 2006


Hello everyone. To those who leave comments and those who just check in... (hint, hint) Here's what's happening today, April 18, 2006

Wishing I had better news these days. We had an open house on Saturday - now that we dropped our price by a staggering 10% (that's $30k) - the only people to show up were mortgage brokers soliciting my realtor for work. Right now we could be listing our home for free and we wouldn't have any interested parties. SOOOO many homes for sale and not enough buyers. I hear every so often that there are some properties moving, but rarely. So now we wait. Seeming to be stuck here.

So I've come to some conclusions. I have decided to give up whatever it is that God or the Universe (or whatever name you wish to substitute there) wishes me to give up. To let go of expectation. (This is simple in concept, but try planning future employment around it sometime!) I am trying to live by each breath and enjoy the process of life. Trying to remain optimistic about a situation that could easily cause me to be pessimistic. I am focusing my energy on manifesting what it is that is needed to sustain life here. Not caring about NZ, Florida, Finland or anything else. Just being. So, I've come full circle on being in Sarasota. Fine. If that is what is right for me, so be it. I will stay here and be happy. Plant another garden, spend more time with my friends. Be happy. If the right people come along and offer us a fair price on our house, we'll decide then what we will do. THIS message IS my manifestation to the powers that BE. OK? ok...

So in reality, deep inside of me, despite all of this forced optimism, I am upset. Sure, all the lessons are there, patience, tolerance, humility, but right now, I feel angry that things are the way they are. I can feel it, embrace it and move on. So for right now, I acknowledge it, and embrace it. I'll let it go later.

... breath ...

Well, it's my birthday today. Another year in the books. Whatever IS happening here, at least my horoscopes sound optimistic:

Tuesday, 18 April 2006 ›› New Zealand Herald
Your eloquent side is emphasized by Mercury, but in what looks like being a remarkable period, you will also be adventurous, ambitious and attractive to others. And that special but elusive goal may soon be reached.

Tuesday, 18 April 2006 ›› Jonathon Canier ›› bubble.com
What's the point of entering into an argument that you can easily win? There won't be much sense of satisfaction - nor of surprise. You'll experience much more novelty and interest if you set out to lose it, rather than win it - or if you embark on a more difficult debate instead. A drama of some kind, today, is probably unavoidable. You can, though, choose whether to have a predictable battle - from which you learn very little - or a challenging encounter during which you make a great discovery. Ask the universe for what you want this week... and you could actually get it.

The Oracle gave me this message today:
Tie up loose ends in your life, be it family or friends. Complete your work on your past and move on. Let it go. You contain the same light and energy that transcends all, permeates through all life forms and is everywhere. Open your awareness to this light and knowledge. Trust that what comes to you is of that same light and meant for the higher good. Learn from all of this. Get up, get out and make something happen. Break the spell of boredom, you are the creator of your own reality. Bring balance back into your world, you have the power to overcome any obstacles.

Numbers: 54, 36, 51, 9

Friday, April 14, 2006

Nothing Short of Frustration

Well, we're not running low on frustration these days. The house has been for sale now for two-and-a-half months. Our realtor dropped by today to deliver the truth of the housing market in Sarasota. It's dead. Too much inventory, too few buyers. Seems like the high end market is sailing, but for the middle and working class - who mainly cannot really afford to live in Sarasota anyway, it has come to a complete stop. Now it gets interesting. We have seen prices drop by as much as 10%. Last year at this time, we could have imagined selling our house and closing in no more han 35 days with several offers, earning what we were dreaming of. Now? Certainly a different story. The only interested party we have had on the house, today informed us that they cannot afford the transaction.

We had been faltering and waivering on a decision to move abroad now for about 6 years. This past January, we became clear that we wanted to move abroad sometime in 2006. Clear as a bell. As soon as we became clear, the housing market stalls and backslides, our immigration status has been delayed multiple times and it looks like the opportunity is starting to slip from our grasp. It will eventually become clear again to us that this move may end up being too costly in the long run. How much do we want to falter and reduce our price in order to attract a sale? How willing are we to sacrifice our belongings to reduce the cost of the move? How long are we willing to wait for something to shift?

We have our blessings certainly. We have our health, each other, a beautiful home should we decide to keep it. The sale of the house, minus the commissions, will ultimately get us out of debt and on the side of a better life, but considering we just lowered our prices today by 10%, we won't really have much to take with us to start a new life abroad.

That's the news today. Hope I don't seem to whinney. I do have my perspective in order and know that there are many millions of people worse off than we are, but this blog isn't about those topics, well, not this time anyway.

Peace.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Sailing Down The Suwannee River - Day Three

Conclusion of our Suwannee River Trip, March 29 - 31



Day Three. "Omelettes and Zen"

The third day we knew we didn’t have to paddle quite so hard, only eight miles remaining on the river. So in the morning we took our time getting ready, had coffee and an organic omelette and fried potatoes (camp style – pre-packaged & freeze-dried). It was wonderful! I was, of course up again with the break of dawn, camera in hand and snapped off a shot of the sun breaking over some trees in a field not far from where we camped.



We broke down our gear and set out for the last day of our trip. The further down the river we drifted, the more dynamic the landscape became. Large formations of exposed limestone lined the river walls. What was unique about them was that they were pocked with holes and seemed more hollow than solid. Tanjariitta actually described them as being gothic. Tree limbs and roots coursed their way in and around the pockets, and some of the holes were large enough to swallow a person. Most of the holes weren’t any larger than the size of my fist and seemed to be a great snake hideout as we found several in and around the stone rock faces, sunning themselves.



Along the last stretches of the river were another spring house, an abandoned bridge and increasingly more civilization and with it, people.



Our trip came to a close back at the outpost that rented us our kayaks. 38.5 miles, 54 hours, 10 snakes, 3 gators, 2 wild turkeys, a dozen or more turtles, dozens of birds, 3 rocky shoals, four tired shoulders, two very fulfilled campers, and unlimited memories.

We got home. Tired and filthy. The transition from serene beauty back to the craziness surrounding our quiet home in the sprawl of the city was a bit severe. Even the convenience of a warm shower was no consolation for being away from the river. Ever so clearly we need to live closer to our passions and closer to the earth. It is impossible to know what lies ahead for us, but in the idea of living closer to the earth, we aspire to live closer to those dreams in our new lives in New Zealand.

Our trip brought about many things. Some very powerful awakenings, some nice reminders, and some new discoveries about ourselves. Not many trips can do that. Many conversations I never before had with Tanjariitta. In seven years, we still haven’t run out of topics to talk about or self-discoveries to make. Like a good book, our marriage unfolds when it is meant to. A slow, romancing mystery. Our past, our present, our future yet to be defined. Ourselves. Our lives. Sublime.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Sailing Down The Suwannee River - Day Two

Part II of our Suwannee River Trip, March 29 - 31


Photo: Spring Morning on the River.

Day two... “Things you can do with opposable thumbs.”

We woke up the next morning at the break of dawn. A soft haze blanked the area. It’s an amazing thing, waking up at the crack of dawn feeling refreshed, even if the sleep wasn’t deep. I think about how I wake up at home under the same circumstances, totally different – groggy until I’ve had my coffee, not entirely interested in getting out of bed, but forcing myself. Anyway, I woke up that morning at the campsite, refreshed, wanting to be up and discovering the area in the soft, warm sunrise light, camera in hand. I was looking for that one shot, the one that captures the light and sums up the feeling of the moment. Whether I found it or not is completely beside the point, the point is, I’m up and it’s beautiful out here, I’m away from everything, no distractions, one with myself, my God, my nature, and nothing else.

We had breakfast, packed up our camp and made our way to the river. A little down the river we finally spotted some of the wildlife we were hoping to encounter along the way. We came across a gator. Ironically, in all of the time we spent on the Suwannee in the last 7 years, we never encountered any gators. This is Florida, home of the gator. There have been reports of gator sightings by other people and anyone who knows Florida knows that any time there is fresh water, there are gators. A beautiful creature, and it was so startled by our presence it plummeted several feet from a low limb into the water in an alarming and ungraceful bellyflop! Never seen that before! But there it was, our first gator sighting. A little further down river, we came across another fine specimine, ironically not at all startled by our presence because I passed within 10 feet of it. It was enjoying a fine afternoon sun and allowed us to take a few pictures.


It seemed up until our gator sighting we thought we were alone on the river. There were however, a myriad of birds we came across, including a large blue bird we dubbed a “Shirpabird,” The “Shirpabird” was an interesting sort of fellow. Would sit on a branch about 50-75 yards ahead of us, just along the river’s edge. It wouldn’t allow us to come any closer and it would take off from that branch and fly a couple of hundred yards down the river. When we were close enough for it’s comfort, it would take off again, swooping perilously close to the water and prop itself on another branch along the river, leading us down river the way a shirpa would guide you through a mountain pass – hence Shirpabird. Later exploration online revealed that it was the Florida Scrubjay. We encountered Scrubjays all along our trip, all guiding us in the same manner.


Just after we got oriented in the river, we took a closer look at our map. Seems we were only eight miles into our 38.5 mile journey and our next campsite opportunity was about 20 miles down stream. OK, T-W-E-N-T-Y M-I-L-E-S… Ummm, sure… that only meant one thing, we needed to get paddling, no dawdling along the river today. We put our minds and backs into it and got moving. Old Sideways Bertha was up to her usual tricks and the ache in my untrained arms was quite more prominent. Maybe a trip or two to the gym before the trip might have been a good idea.

There wasn’t much time for photography the second day, but who can resist taking pictures of wildlife as we encounter it. I spotted a snake crossing the river in front of me, looked more like a twig in the water except for the rhythmic pattern of movement across the current. We stopped to inspect it. Beautiful snake, minding it’s own, not really even cautious of our presence. Like it knew what it had to do, it was crossing the river to get to the other side, that is all. “Ahhh, hello. You’ve come to watch me do what it is that I do. Good for you. I’m now going to scale this vertical 30’ wall, me a tiny 12” snake, with no arms and no legs. Just you watch me, you human. Opposable thumbs, pah! Who needs ‘em!” Mindless of the audience, it posed for a few snapshots and tolerated our presence and climbed with much grace.


We paddled. Then we paddled some more. And more… more… more. We came to the little town of White Springs. Must have been around or a little after noon the second day. Felt like my arms were going to fall off. I know, I know, you’re supposed to use your whole body, by now, that didn’t matter anymore. Using my back only relieved a little of the soreness. It was a good kind of soreness, a firming up of my upper body while I enjoy life in the Florida sun.

We decided to stop off at White Springs. White Springs was named for the giant sulfur spring found beside the river. The area was first settled by the Timucuan Indians . It was their belief that the spring held magical healing powers. In 1835, Bryant and Elizabeth Sheffield bought the land (from whom I wonder) and the springs and made it into a plantation. A bath house was erected over the spring to harness the healing sulfuric water. Among the famous visitors to the springs, I mean besides myself, were Henry Ford and Teddy Roosevelt.

While in White Springs, we decided to top off a few of our most important supplies, namely some cooking spray and a bottle of wine. As we were walking into the tiny village, we must have been a sight because wherever we went we had people downright starring at us. I mean I know we spent the last day and a half on the river, we did bathe, but still, from people driving by to others casually walking along the sidewalks, we turned heads sideways. One elderly man actually followed us, from across the street. He finally bit into his curiosity and approached us. He simply wanted to know if we came from the river. Seemed to astonish him that we would camp out on the river and travel in such a way. Doesn’t everybody?

We got our supplies, said goodbye to White Springs and paddled on another 13 miles or so to our next campsite.

High on a bluff overlooking the river was our next stop. Our campsite was under a spanning Oak tree in a hammock. A hammock is a tract of forested land above an adjacent marsh in the southern states. We set up our tent overlooking the water. There was enough daylight after we set up camp, gathered firewood and dug in that there was time to cook dinner while watching the river flow by. I could have sat and stared at the river’s flow for the rest of my life. It was entrancing. So mysterious, so dark, both inviting and foreboding. Supporting life of all kinds around it. Drawing myself out into it. Out of my overly analytical mind and into my soul. The place where my intimate and infinite existence dwells.


We slept. Still sleeping lightly. Thoughts of the river ramble in my mind all night. Soft conversation still fresh in my mind from sitting around the fire.

Day three to come...

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Sailing Down The Suwannee River - Day One

Suwannee River Trip, March 29 - 31


Photo: Sam the dog.

We rent our kayaks from an outpost near the small town of Live Oak in northern Florida. The outpost based at a campground for the Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park. The outpost isn't associated with the park, but they share the same space. We arrived late in the evening and camped our first night at the outpost.

The next morning, we arranged for our kayaks and identified what part of the river we wished to go down. We put in roughly 50 miles to the east at a place called Cone Bridge. Two years ago, on almost the exact same weekend, Tanjariitta traveled down the same stretch of river by herself. We decided that we would take the same trip so she could show me the beautiful things she had seen the last time she was there.

The Suwannee River is a federally designated wild river and today is the only major waterway in the southeastern United States that is still unspoiled. All along the river dot parks, springs and walking paths so the river can be hiked as well as paddled. The river flows from the great Okefenokee Swamp in Georgia 266 miles to the Gulf of Mexico. The unusual deep red color of the water is derived from tannic acid from tree roots, oak leaves and peat. In fact, watching Tanjariitta’s bright yellow paddle completely vanish eight inches below the surface was a neat trick. The river is so dark as to be ominous both day and night.

The first day was pretty laid back, we took our time meandering about the river. We rented two kayaks, a single and a tandem. I took the tandem. We like having the extra room a tandem has because we can put a few extra items of gear in it that we wouldn't normally have if we went backpacking - like comfortable sleeping gear and extra food. The rented kayaks are nice, but they do define the expression "mental-rental." I dubbed my ship the "Sideways Bertha." Mind of her own and sideways down the river was her favorite means of travel!

The temperature of the day didn’t much go above eighty degrees and the sky remained hazy. Weather in March and April is always the best for any outdoor activities in northern Florida. The days are respectively warm and the nights not too cool. In fact, it was the 34th day in a row with that kind of weather, not hard to take, but with the sacrifice of no rain. In fact, the river itself was pretty low, by as much as ten feet in some areas. It was as if the shore was afraid of the water. It looked as it someone had pulled the banks of the river up like a person hiking their pants up before wading into water to keep them from getting wet.



The area was about to break into Spring. Many of the trees were completely barren and at first glance gave the appearance of being dead, but on closer inspection, they were only just about to bud and bear their leaves. A few more pleasant days like this one and Spring will be in full swing.

We meandered about, me sometimes sideways, many times wrestling with Sideways Bertha to keep her aligned, pushing my arm muscles to their limit. We also spent time eating as we kayaked. Eating before we kayaked, as we kayaked and after we kayaked. In fact, I don't recall a time in the entire trip that I didn't have something in my mouth. I also had the camera at the ready to capture wildlife or scenes of natural beauty as we made our way.


Photo: The Island of Music

A few miles into our cruise, we came across an island, a sandbar really, in the middle of the river. It was a place that Tanjariitta knew about from her last trip here. We stopped off for lunch. As we were stretching out and taking a break from all of the "hard work" of drifting down the river, we discovered the island's hidden treasure. The sand we walked on could sing! As we walked over the course sand, it would chirp. Investigating further, we found that by continuously rubbing our hands through the sand produced sounds equivilent to the sound of a wineglass caressed by a wet finger. The sand could be played tonally (although not very easy to control the pitch) as well as percussively. The favorite sounds it made was when we would hold as much sand between our hands as we could and rub back and forth. As sand would fall out, the chirping pitch went from a low woop, woop, woop to a higher and increaslingly faster wip, wip, wip, wip, wip! Truly amazing indeed. We enjoyed a little more over an hour on the island, eating and playing our secret sand music. It was difficult to pull oursleves away from it, knowing that we may never see it again.

Further down the river we came to the only whitewater rapids in all of Florida, the Big Shoals. It's not huge, but it is listed as a Class III rapids and certainly not runnable with a kayak that has a reputation of running sideways. We pulled off at a portage site and walked on ahead. All of the rapids come only to about 100 meters (roughly 100 yards) in length. A large number of boulders marked the beginning of the falls with several more areas of rapids after and culmonated in about a 7 foot drop overall. It might have been fun with a sport kayak and no gear, or maybe if there had been a little more water on the river, but not having any experience or training with rough water, we decided that the extra work to portage would be worth it. Not to mention that above the shoals is a State park with plenty of camp sites within earshot of the shoals. So we decided to put in for the night there.


Photo: Big Shoals

Our site overlooked the shoals on the down river side. Beautiful white noise behind our camping experience. Softly lulling the mind into deeper relaxation.

The state park we stayed at was beautiful. However the people that used the park before us must not have ever known how to camp. The saying goes, "Take only pictures, leave only footprints." The area was littered with toilet paper around every turn. Not like a garbage bag burst and the wind carried it away, but the places where people had to make a deposit. I stopped counting the piles I saw, it was really disgusting, I mean really, how difficult is it to respect nature, the park, the other people who will be using the park after you to simply gather your paper and either burn it or place it in your garbage bags? It isn't difficult.

That evening, after we got a modest campfire going, with the modest amount of firewood we found in the area, we sat, ate freeze-dried chicken stew, leftover mac & cheese (from a neighboring camper) and sipped on wine minis. It was a meal unbecoming of a night in the wilderness and a nice way to end our first day on the river. After we were both done with the meal, we each admitted to each other that the chicken stew was perhaps one of the worst camp meals we have ever cooked and compared the experience to cooking cardboard! At least we weren’t hungry anymore, but the thought of gnawing on tree bark did cross my mind once or twice while eating…

The hush of the river sixty yards away, a soft breeze in the tent and slowly dipping temperatures gently put us to sleep. Strangely enough though I never could sleep all that well camping. I guess I sleep with one eye open if there is any possibility of gators around – even though we were high above the river.


Photo: The Close of Day One

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Back from beyond - or am I returning to the place beyond?


Photo: Sneak peak at a photo from my trip down the Suwannee River.

Back from the river! I'd like to say that I feel totally refreshed, relaxed and recharged. I would LIKE to say that. Don't get me wrong, it was a wonderful trip, perfect in every way. I love being out in the wilderness. As we made our way down the river, we also made our way further and further from "civilization." Now, as we have come back, it has been a bigger challenge to reintegrate with the rest of our culture. I still can't stand Sarasota, but I'm finding myself less and less interested in even living so close to other people. I don't like driving around them, living next to them, hearing them, seeing them or smelling them. Maybe I live too close to my neighbors, and certainly too close to the sprawl of the city. I am also searching out for our next living environment to be away from it all, surrounded by as much land as we can afford and away from the noise, smells and bustle of this town. But it isn't just that. I have also found that I am increasingly more interested in falling off the grid. Unplugging, leaving technology behind. I know I can never do that entirely, right now I have to make a living at being on-line and plugged in as far as I can be, but it hasn't been easy. Sorry I can't be more positive about my return and I hate whining, but this is honestly how I feel. I would be a liar to paint a prettier picture.

A positive reflection of all of this is that I am ready to sell my TV and PlayStation 2 set. I found that watching the river flow by slowly or a campfire dwindle was wholly more enjoyable than any fabricated entertainment I find on TV - including the news. Our trip was really wonderful though, despite the mood I'm in this morning. I'll be posting a short story and pictures of the trip when I'm done writing it all up and editing the photos more.

Then this morning, I made the mistake of reading the news. Creature of habit I guess, I could have just left well enough alone right, I didn't have to go to CNN.com, but I did. Apparently a congresswoman, Rep. Cynthia McKinney, is making the news for a scuffle she got into with an officer when she attempted to enter a House office building without proper identification. The story states that she walked right on through the entry gate, ignoring the officers' attempts to tell her to stop. After three attempts to get her to stop by shouting at her from behind, an officer reached and physically tried to stop her by placing a hand "somewhere on her" to get her to stop. She swung and struck the officer. Clearly, in my mind's eye, the security around Federal buildings is in place to protect the people who work there. Having and showing proper identification isn't asking too much to enter a federal building. Now, I don't know if there are any other mitigating circumstances around this incident or if she has had an issue with these officers before. That said, perhaps I do not know the true depths of the incident apart from what the news is saying, however, this is the part the IRKS the living CRAP out of me: "she was a victim of inappropriate touching and racism and said they were considering pursuing civil action against the officer." The thought that she feels, because she ran through a security checkpoint and evaded and struck an officer who was doing his job makes her a VICTIM, puts to shame all other cases where racism IS an issue and people ARE victimized by their race. Rep. Cynthia McKinney takes my award today as IDIOT OF THE DAY! I feel bad for the officer involved and hope justice is rightly served on his behalf. It's news like this that is making me want to run from this country screaming my fool head off!

OK, on another note, I have to say that it has been very difficult to keep up blogging. I absolutely love doing this but have so little time to dedicate to it. I am always thinking of things to say here, but never have enough time to say them, then I forget. Between trying to maintain this house and sell it, looking for more work, maintaining my current clients, looking for full-time employment, making ready all of our things to move, planning the move, hosting long family stays and entertaining all the people who want to visit with us before we move on - I'm totally spent! I will try to keep my promise to update at least once a week, but probably cannot do it every day like I would like to. I know the few of you who stop by understand. Thanks.