Mindnumbing and Mindboggling!

It's been a slow couple of weeks for me here, I've only had a few small projects to wrap up, Thanksgiving has disrupted any flow I had for work. Holidays seem to do that for freelance workers, it a work hazard.

So I've had some time to tidy up my photography. I took an estimated 1,500 shots this summer so now I'm processing them all. It's tedious and mind-numbing to say the least, but I hope to make it worth my while. I found an awesome resource in Photo.net. Thousands of amateur and professional photographers posting their work and all kinds of information about the industry. I've never seen so much cooperation among people in a profession and I think the design community could learn a few things from it. I won't go into great detail about the site, you can search it out for yourself, but needless to say I have spent HOURS and DAYS learning. I feel like I've had an infusion of knowledge. I only have a couple of images posted right now, but here's my link: http://photo.net/photos/brucimus

So I've taken all my new knowledge and am now applying it to my own photographs. I'm processing 65 out of the 1,500 images for future stock photography websites. It seems like such a small number, but really, I've selected only the best work, and it's taken me more than 40 hours of processing. I'm embracing the idea of someone buying my photography - this is a big step! For too long I've had the desire to know, but never found the right resource, now I'm glad for this time to work on this. Databases, tweaking, embedding copyright and info into the photo files. The work has really been horribly boring, but I think this will produce some nice fruits in the end.

So I came across a roll of film that I've had around for a little while. It was in my refrigerator, in the butter drawer, rolling about whenever the door was opened. I kept forgetting to take it in to be processed. It eventually made the move with us out to Montana. I forgot what was on the half exposed roll. One day about a week or so ago, I remembered to stick the roll in my pocket and take it in for processing. I almost fell over when I saw the images. It was a roll of film from eight-and-a-half years ago of my second tandem skydive from a hot air balloon. Tia took the photos of my jump, I shot the ground images. I got goosebumps when I looked at them for the first time.

So it's 1999. Tia and I were JUST married, literally, within weeks. She was part of a skydive club and was really urging me to embrace it. Then came the hotair balloon. A company from Tennessee (wish I could remember the name of the company - I later did their logo and it ended up on MTV somehow) The club wanted to do jumps out of the balloon, what skydiver WOULDN'T want to do it right? Well, I volunteered to do my second tandem from it. So I'm the only one in the basket, carriage, whatever, without a parachute, besides the pilot. We're hanging by thread and fabric, all of us. We're clibing through 5,000 feet, then 8k, then 10k, then 11k. The pilot and jumpmaster look over the side and say, "This looks good." I respond, "Oh really, how can you tell?" First jumper goes, second, third. My heart is pumping like it's coming out of my chest. I get strapped to my jumpmaster (who is now one of our best friends). We have to climb up the edge of the basket, some four feet, in tandem. Imagine a four-legged, four-armed, two-headed 300+lb beast that has just been born, climbing up a wall backwards. We get to where we need to be, legs on the rail of the basket, grasping the frame of the burner for the hotair. I'm told to dangle my legs, so I do, inside the basket - "NO - OUTSIDE!" I'm forced to remove my grips, I'm trembling with fear - OF FALLING! THREE! TWO! ONE! A silent moment, a whisper of air, my heart in my throat, we're falling backwards watching the balloon rise hundreds of feet above us in an instant, we catch terminal velocity and roll over, tears streaming from my face, I can hear my jumpmaster laughing and I'm screaming it in at 120mph. When we get together, we still giggle about that jump. I have to say one of my own personal highlights, the kind that makes the cover of the sportpage, or the headline of the reel at the 6 o'clock news, the kind that will live with me forever. Enjoy the pics and smile a bit for me.

Building the Wall

(Click on the image to see the animation of the wall being built)

It seems like I live my life in the "Bunker" these days. When I'm not working on building business for myself, I'm working on making the space more usable for as an office. So I'm dividing the space so half will be heated office space and the other will half will be a work/storage room for tools and the motorcycles. It's coming along, but I have a long way to go before the office is actually functional. I need shelves and table space. But all in time!

Doin' It...

I guess I've been waiting for that spurt of inspiration or the "right moment" to begin posting on this blog again. I fear in my absence, I may have lost some following, but if I recall my initial motive in keeping this blog was to document my creativity, which then makes this blog geared for me and my future use, having a community following like I see around the blog world was not something I expected to have. Please, don't get me wrong, I love everyone that comes by and leaves me their opinion and I certainly welcome the witnessing to my process, but honestly, I am doing this for myself.

That being said, no time like the present for an update on what's happening for me creatively.

I felt like nothing was happening, then I stood back and realized, yes, something IS happening here. Something amazing. I'm in a place where my only work options are either go into business for myself and make it work, or get a job at some BIG BOX STORE. Since I don't want to work for a pathetically low wage, I choose to work from home - again. I know what this is like, I know what resources I have available to me. So in the span of a few short weeks since arriving in Montana, I have created something out of very little, and am continuing to grow it. I have secured business council, written a business plan and a mission statement, secured an inexpensive and convenient office - with some modifications - I plan to set this business up differently this time. I want this to finally be an "adult" business, meaning that I'm not just some "schmoe" doing desktop design in his garage. Damnit, I'm better than that. I'm worth more than that and my skills mean more to me than they did before.

Here's my new mission statement:
"To become a leading-edge designer and photographer in a world-wide market with clients across the United States and Europe, having the ability to manifest work and operate in any place on the globe. To maintain a high level of design and photographic expertise, continually learning and growing in my craft, building in myself confidence in my abilities and honing my sales and self-promotional traits. Building solid client relationships backed with a commitment to excellent service. To ultimately gain recognition in my field through competitions and feature articles and to nurture and grow an elevated salary level while maintaining competitive prices."

Every time I think about the people I graduated with, hearing the success of their careers and thinking to myself that I choose to live a "lifestyle" instead of a "career", I weaken my ability to become a success in my own right. I have more self-respect for my creativity now and I'm working on my self-esteem, not personally, but in regards to my marketability. I'm working on my presentation, how I come across.

I hate tapping into ego, I've worked so hard in the past 7 years to reduce and put into submission my ego, but this is a job FOR the ego! I'm going to make a name for myself this time. I'm out for the bigger targets and want to manifest recognition for my skills on a worldwide stage. Vanity is not one of my strong suits, but this is coming from somewhere other than vanity this time. This is an honest drive to become successful, even if it means I'm only successful in my circles in Florida and create a small niche for myself here. The sky is the limit, I have the resources available to me to really do something great here.

...and I'm going to do it.